Does the whole world smile with you? That depends.
Have you put on some weight? You’re looking a little tubby. I’m not taking low-fat-margarine either-I mean economy-sized lard. Frankly, I’ll bet you couldn’t reach your toes calling Federal Express.
See? I’m smiling! Feel better? All right, maybe I owe you an apology. But don’t underestimate the power of smiles. These days they’re mandatory even in cyberspace. Smile can prevent a misunderstanding, offer up a magic key to decode a hidden meaning or disguise one’s true message. A smile is more powerful than worlds, it can override, even counteract, them.
Gary Cooper understood that. Back in 1929, Cooper starred in The Virginian, one of the easily Western talking pictures, and wasted no time coining one of the first cinematic catch phrases. When a cowpoke insulted the Virginian during a card game, Cooper drawled, “If you want to call me that, smile”.
Or think of the old gag sometimes practiced by people moving through a receiving line, smiling and repeating, “My grandmother is dead.” Generally, no one notices the words. They just return the smile. (Then again, perhaps Grandma was not so popular).
Smile must be important: Scientist have so far failed to discover the key rapid interstellar travel but have invented teeth-whitening strips. No wonder emailers use emoticons – little punctuation faces or those big yellow smiley faces that tell email recipients, “Just kidding!” Without the aid of facial expressions, rapid communication can be like a blowtorch at a gas station.
A sincere smile is a wonderful thing, but it’s a luxury few politicians indulge. A good salesperson knows its value-it’s even more important than the value of the product. One of my first teenage jobs was a telephone solicitor, trying to bribe strangers with sets of steak knives and cheap candleholders so they’d agree to make appointments with vacuum cleaner sales people. I will always remember the command from my evil tyrant supervisors as I worked the phones: Smile. It doesn’t matter that they can’t see you; you’ll sound friendly and happy. Then web can sweet-talk the poor schmucks into buying a vacuum cleaner that costs as much as a used car.
Consider: our closest animal cousin is the chimpanzee, sharing more than 95 percent of our DNA. And when a chimp shows its teeth, the message is, Back off. Even crocodiles look like they’re smiling. And when people do, sometimes it’s for the same reason. According to Angus Trumble’s book A Brief History of the smile, the nerves that make a natural smile are different from the ones activated by a false one.
Remember the aphorism “Smile, and the world smiles with you?” In fact, not every nation treats a smile the same way. In China and Japan, a smile indicates embarrassment or discomfort. Even emoticons, those typographical grins. Have developed differently in different cultures. Here’s the typical Japanese smiley-face emoticon: {^_^)
Here, the mouth doesn’t smile only the eyes. It’s a reflection of Japanese facial expressions, in which the expressive eyes take precedence over the treacherous mouth. Japanese women often reflexively cover their mouths when speaking or laughing. The eyes are a truer indication of one’s feelings: It’s much harder to fake laughing eyes than it is to simply show your teeth.
Consider the most famous smile of all, the “Mona Lisa”. In a 2003 study, Harvard professor Margaret Livingstone claimed da Vinci painted the “Mona Lisa” so that if you stare straight at her mouth at close range, the famous little smile is not evident-only if you view the whole face can it be seen. You’d never sell any used cars with that kind of grin, but for five centuries this famous work has testified to the fact that true smiles are not simply a matter of flashing those pearly whites.
The move from painting to photography had its effect on public expression. Sitting for a portrait hour after hour is not conducive to smiling. Nor were early photo subjects able to smile as they sat still for long exposures. Only the advent of flash photography and high-speed film made it easy to capture a fleeting smile. Smiling for the camera surely led to more smiling in general.
When it comes to interpreting smiles, context is everything. There are differences from city to town, and from male to female. I grew up in Brandon, Man, I now live in Vancouver. Visiting family in Brandon represents a serious cultural shift. Corny, but true Brandon people smile at strangers, whereas on a busy Vancouver street, a smile from stranger is guilty until proven harmless, the natural inclination is to brace yourself for the pitch. Sadly, that’s particularly true for woman, who know from the experience that some men, perhaps having learned of female behavior primarily through beer commercials, are only too ready to get wrong idea from friendly smile. In the urban environment, fear is the real smile killer.
Nevertheless, may I make a suggestion? Smile. A sincere smile is still a beam of light in this world. I’ve also discovered while traveling that, for all the talk of cultural differences, a smile bridges communication gaps, and smiles are contagious. A friend of mine, Ani, has noticed an interesting phenomenon. “Sometimes when I’m walking down the street, I’ll start smiling about something that happened recently”, she says,” I don’t even notice I’m smiling. But suddenly everyone is smiling back at me”.
Smiles tend to create their own weather systems. You can do it for a particular reason to begin with, but then it tends to be self-perpetuating. Fake it till you make it. Behave a certain way, and your mind will come around. Let the tail wag the dog. Smile.
And remember, when someone makes a disagreeable remark, a smile can help you turn the other cheek. Which in your case would not improve the view.
See? Kidding! Hey, where are you going?
By Steve Burgess
Klik disini untuk melanjutkan »»
